Yup, we're there already! In fact, as I write, we're already one day past the three month mark. It came up quickly, and as I've been reminded by irate family members, I haven't done very well at keeping readers up to date on things with little Hava -- sorry!
So let me tell you a little about the girl: She's got a personality, that's for sure. And good news (from the parent/exhaustion angle, anyway) is that it's a remarkably calm personality. She "an old soul" as a friend recently remarked -- happy to stare into people's faces and serenely observe the world. She does get fussy, and sometimes even cries. She's just a baby, after all. But, to paraphrase Lloyd Bensten in his moment of political immortality: "We've been through crying babies. We know crying babies. Hava, you're no crying baby." And the funny thing with Hava's crying is that all that baby calming stuff we read about over and over again in desperation in early 2007, it actually works! It's so easy, you just cradle her on her side or tummy, bounce her gently, shush in her ear, and she calms down - for real! Go figure.
At three months, she's also become smiley and social. She's quick to look for a nearby face and try to interact in the best way she knows how: by sharing a great big toothless grin. That approach works wonders -- at least if you're a little baby it does -- charming relatives, strangers, and even exhausted parents.
And that exhaustion thing, which I've now mentioned twice now, highlights the other prominent fact of the Hava experience so far. As is often noted, having two is definitely more than twice the work, at least early on. But what I find more notable how the exhaustion factor illuminates the way a relationship with a child develops over time. There may be those who in fact have boundless love for their child from the moment of birth; and certainly there are those who, looking through the golden haze of memory, are sure that's how it was for them and their baby. (For the record, if you ask me this question in ten years, I'm sure I'll be in the latter category.) But for me, the relationship is definitely one that takes time to grow and unfold. And with baby number two, there is less of that sense of wonder at the miracle of life to temper the "lather, rinse, repeat" of daily existence with a newborn + toddler.
Somewhere along the way I fell madly in love with my son, such that the most trivial details of his daily existence ("He finished the 12 piece puzzle -- what a genius!") are endlessly fascinating. I know that will happen with Hava as well. But some days it's hard to see through to that point, stuck as I am in the no-man's-land between the euphoria of the first few weeks and the two-way relationship I know will eventually arrive. The good news, at least, is that we've been through this before. I don't remember it of course -- case in point, I've largely blotted out the memories of Jonah's endless crying, to the point where friends look at me like I'm deranged when I innocently ask "did he really cry that much?" -- but my dear wife has a better memory. And so when I was crying in my drink last night about how things feel at the moment, she reminded me: "you said the exact same thing about Jonah around this time." That -- which I'm sure is true, even if I can't remember it -- bodes very well with how things will unfold with Hava. I'm looking forward to it!
The pictures are a little dated already, but hopefully the placate the masses for the moment. Enjoy!
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