Does Jonah Need a Haircut? (And Other News)

We don't think so! He's gone 15 months without, and as far as we're concerned (and except for the occasional dreadlock) he looks great! And, go figure, Jonah has been growing right along with his hair. He's now fully a toddler: he seems to be on the verge of walking, on the verge of talking, and, to some combination of our amazement and dismay, on the verge of become his own independent little person.
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Does Jonah need a haircut? "No-no-no-no-
no-no-no-no," he says.
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So let's talk about the talking thing for a moment: In recent weeks, Jonah has starting to make a surprising number of sounds that resemble real grown-up words. One of the first to arrive was "Ella", which is not surprising since it's probably the most frequently-spoken word in our house (e.g., "Ella, don't eat that!" "Ella, do you have to lie right in the middle of the doorway?" "Ella, please don't dismember the mailman!" and so forth.) We also seem to be getting a reliable "ma-ma" and "ball". And Da-da (who is still waiting in vain to hear his name) swears that Jonah once read most of the words to "Goodnight Gorilla" aloud, although that feat has not been repeated since.

However, we're chagrined, and worried, to report that the very first word seems to have been that all-time toddler favorite: "no". Or, in its more emphatic version, an unbroken string of syllables: "no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no". For this gift, we place the blame squarely in the lap of Eric Hill, a man we've never met, but who we know as the "author" (and the appropriateness of that honorific is debatable here) of the world's worst children's book: "Where's Spot?"



Let us relate the plot of "Where's Spot?" (and don't worry, it won't take long): the story involves the timeless theme of a mother's search for her child. In this case, Mama dog is looking in various rooms in a house for her baby ("Spot") in order to feed him dinner. In each room, Mama dog asks about a particular location ("Is he behind the door?" "Is he under the bed?") and the reader is invited to open a little paper door or flip up a little paper bedskirt so as to look for himself. But Spot isn't in any of these locations. Instead -- inexplicably -- there are a variety of unlikely and somewhat scary other animals. There's a creepy bear behind the door, a scary aligator under the bed, and so forth. And, more importantly for our purposes, each time the reader is left with is the same answer: a simple, plain, unadorned "NO". No other dialogue. No variation in plot. No explanation as to why this menagerie is hanging around the house. Nothing except one big fat "NO" after another. And this, dear reader, is our child's favorite book. So I suppose its no surprise that his first word was what it was...

All this ranting aside, I do have to say: it's still incredibly cute to hear Jonah read along with "Where's Spot" in his quiet, hesitating, little baby voice. I know at some point (really soon, probably) I'll have heard more "no's" than I can bear. But at the moment, there's still a sense of wonder that -- whatever the words -- my baby is finding his voice.
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