Jonah Baer (and Hava Dov)

What's It Like Having Two?

2010-10-02T12:15:00.000-07:00

Didn't I start a post with this question, oh, say a year and half ago? Then I stopped posting for about a year. They - the ubiquitous "they" - say that actions speak louder than words. So I guess by my actions, I've answered the question.

I won't even start with trying to recapture what's happened over the last year. For a while, as I became more and more conscious of the fact that I was failing to keep up with this part of my life (oh, and, just about every other freakin' part of my life too) I held on to the idea of doing one masterful blog post to make up for all the ones I've missed. But after a while that idea became part of the problem - I'd start out thinking about how to capture all the changes since August 2009 in the lives of our two growing toddlers, and the thought exercise alone was enervating, so that sometime before I got around to putting the proverbial pen to paper, I lost steam entirely and put the whole exercise off until sometime when life felt more in control.

"Hahahaha, that's a good one" you say? If so, then you know the answer to the question in the title of this post. I've figured it out too, although the answer goes against my nature. Even though I've been beat over the head with the reality of it for the last year and a half, I'm still having a hard time with what George H.W. (#41) might have called "that acceptance thing." But, whether I can accept it or not, I have to admit it's true. Q: What's it like having two? A: Your life is no longer in control.

So there you have it. While you're chewing on the thought, enjoy some pictures from lives out of control, circa late 2009 and first half of 2010.

Summer's Here?!

2009-08-13T06:22:00.000-07:00

I looked up recently to discover it was August. Last I checked it was May, or maybe June, so this came as a bit of a surprise. And of course then it hit me -- as it does every year about this time, like some kind of seasonal alergy -- that whistful "where did the summer go?" feeling.

I can't say much for June or July. I spent most of the that time working my tail off, to be honest. But I've got higher hopes for August. And it started out well: we finally got out camping with the kids (one of our summer goals) and it was great! Jonah was so excited about the tent, and loved running around the campsite and hiking on the trails. And Hava only ate a little bit of dirt. (And, trust me, that was a major accomplishment -- this girl puts everything in her mouth right now!)
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Hello from Big Basin Redwoods!____________________________________________________

Meanwhile, so much is changing with the kids I hardly know where to begin. Lately I've been pressed by the somewhat uncomfortable feeling that Hava is growing up before I can realize it. It's like some kind of premature nostalga, perhaps bought on by having two kids. But I look at what Jonah is doing, and I realize Hava will be there in the proverbial blink of an eye, and I wonder if I'll have time to register it -- really be there and experience it -- before it passes.

One change that's been on my mind a lot lately is language. If you want it in bland clinical terms, I'm currently fascinated by "language development." But saying it that way really takes the life out of it. What gets me is the question of how our little brains get from the primitive emotions of an infant to the complex and (becoming) adult-like ideas of a toddler in such a short span of time.

Hava, at six months, has just moved past the monotone set of cries produced by young babies and discovered that she can make a wider range of sounds. Now she coos, gurgles, grunts, bleats, and occassionally shrieks like a miniature pterodactyl. It's cheerful and cute and completely age-appropriate. But it's not yet anything that would pass for adults communication.

Fast forward two years and you're to Jonah. He's still got some of the cute mispronunciations of toddler-hood: "Jamanas" for pyjamas, "alligator" for elevator, and my personal favorite the "PUS man" for the guy in the big brown truck who delivers packages. But he's recently graduated into more complex sentence structures that really drive home how much he's becoming a fully-developed little person. If left to his own devices, he will often pour forth a loosely-connected torrent or words and ideas. It's fascinating and a little befuddling. Maybe I'm just slow-witted, but it's never clear to me how I'm supposed to respond to this verbal onslaught. Typically the best I can do is repeat it back to him, like I'm the drive-thru cashier at McDonald's ("So you saw the fire truck with Woody and Robert and the lights were flashing and it was loud?" "Would you like fries with that?")

Ruth Ann swears that Jonah recently told a riddle (Ruth Ann was trying to get Jonah to say "Webster Street" and he asks this one: Q:"Where do the spiders live, mommy?" A:"On Web Street"). The ability to appreciate double meanings in language and play with words doesn't develop in full until much later in childhood, but even if the riddle was a fluke, there's obviously a heck of a lot that's happened in the last two years to get from Hava to Jonah.

Often, I try to remember how we got from there to here. At a certain level of generality, that's easy enough: I can look back at blog entries and read my snapshots of baby sounds, first words, and so on. But at another level, it's like the change of seasons. I know it's happening, and occassionally I'm struck by little signs and reminders. But there are few obvious points of demarcation, and, at its essential core, it's just a series of daily experiences.

Adventures in Co-Sleeping

2009-05-27T23:26:00.000-07:00

Hey, guess what? Hava is a different baby than Jonah! Yes, it's obvious, I know -- but here in the eye of the storm we sometimes find it hard to recognize and really absorb that obvious fact.

There are a lot of examples of this principle I'd like to tell you about, but the one that's been on my mind for about three weeks now -- which tells you something about how often I'm able to get around to posting -- is our whole experience around sleeping.

As you may recall from our postings from a year and a half ago, sleep was not Jonah's strong suit. If you were to ask us what most worried us about baby #2, the answer in two words would have been "sleep deprivation." So when Hava was born, we decided we'd try to do a few things around sleep differently. One of them -- which I'll blame largely on Ruth Ann's subscription to "Mothering" magazine, your #1 source for organic hemp baby products and homespun advice on how to be a better earth mother (or father) -- was to have a go at co-sleeping.

For disciples of Dr. Sears and "Mothering" magazine, co-sleeping is more or less the only way to go. And there are, in fact, a lot of reasons that co-sleeping makes good sense. It's a natural approach in the animal world, and it's an approach that's worked well for human beings for a long time, and still works well for many now. Yes, you have to pay some attention to safety issues. But, on paper anyway, it seems to offer a chance for a much-improved sleep experience for everyone: Baby sleeps better when she can smell and sense mom and dad nearby. Mom and dad sleep better when they don't have to stagger across the room (or house) at 2 a.m. to comfort crying baby.

On the other hand, we may not be the best candidates for co-sleeping. There is, I'm told, a species of couples who like to sleep cuddled in each other's arms, sharing warmth and space. We, on the other hand, are people who like our space. Cuddling before bedtime is swell -- we like it as much as the next pair -- but when it comes time to sleep, it's all about "roll over and give me some space." We'd sleep in a California king, if it weren't for the fact our bedroom itself is about the size of a California king. I could continue, but I'm guessing you probably get the picture by now.

Our natural handicaps aside, co-sleeping actually did turn out to work pretty well for us during the first few weeks. Then the natural order of things started to re-assert itself. Ruth Ann is apparently a much lighter sleeper around babies -- she wakes with the slightest noise from the baby. And, in case you don't know, sleeping babies are plumb noisy. Whatever the phrase "sleeping like a baby" is supposed to refer to, it doesn't refer to the fact that they're quiet sleepers. Hava squawks and rustles her way through the night, and not infrequently she has pleasant little grunting spells to boot. Hava doesn't necessarily wake during all this noise (and, much to Ruth Ann's annoyance, neither do I). But Ruth Ann would lie awake at night, accumulating resentment toward her noisy daughter and snoring husband. And most of the time she'd end up nursing Hava to quiet her back down, which meant both Hava and Ruth Ann would have their sleep cycles interrupted.

We tried a variety of steps: moving Hava to a bassinet next to the bed, switching sides of the bed, moving the bassinet farther away, etc. Eventually, in a fit of desperation, Ruth Ann resorted to sleeping on the couch in the living room. Yes, un-huh, we do get that it's ironic. But we all slept better then -- Ruth Ann woke less, and woke Hava less. And, wonder of wonders, after a week or two of separated sleep, Hava began sleeping through the night!

We've now had nearly two weeks of fairly consistent sleeping through the night. Hava is in a bassinet. Ruth Ann has returned to the bedroom. Jonah, in the room across the hall, is probably waking more than Hava at this point. But given our experiences with baby #1, we can scarcely believe that we're getting as much sleep as we are.

It seems like there should be a moral to this story, but I'm not exactly sure what it is. Clearly what we did was not what Dr. Sears and the editors of "Mothering" magazine had in mind when they talked about co-sleeping. But it was done with love and good intentions, and it worked for us. And I guess you could say that's what this parenting thing is all about: love, good intentions and figuring out what works for your family. In any event, it was the best we could do -- and, for Hava and Jonah's sake, hopefully our best is good enough.

Anyway, enough with the words, we know what you came for. Here's the latest:

Hava at Three Months

2009-05-10T16:00:00.000-07:00

Yup, we're there already! In fact, as I write, we're already one day past the three month mark. It came up quickly, and as I've been reminded by irate family members, I haven't done very well at keeping readers up to date on things with little Hava -- sorry!

So let me tell you a little about the girl: She's got a personality, that's for sure. And good news (from the parent/exhaustion angle, anyway) is that it's a remarkably calm personality. She "an old soul" as a friend recently remarked -- happy to stare into people's faces and serenely observe the world. She does get fussy, and sometimes even cries. She's just a baby, after all. But, to paraphrase Lloyd Bensten in his moment of political immortality: "We've been through crying babies. We know crying babies. Hava, you're no crying baby." And the funny thing with Hava's crying is that all that baby calming stuff we read about over and over again in desperation in early 2007, it actually works! It's so easy, you just cradle her on her side or tummy, bounce her gently, shush in her ear, and she calms down - for real! Go figure.

At three months, she's also become smiley and social. She's quick to look for a nearby face and try to interact in the best way she knows how: by sharing a great big toothless grin. That approach works wonders -- at least if you're a little baby it does -- charming relatives, strangers, and even exhausted parents.

And that exhaustion thing, which I've now mentioned twice now, highlights the other prominent fact of the Hava experience so far. As is often noted, having two is definitely more than twice the work, at least early on. But what I find more notable how the exhaustion factor illuminates the way a relationship with a child develops over time. There may be those who in fact have boundless love for their child from the moment of birth; and certainly there are those who, looking through the golden haze of memory, are sure that's how it was for them and their baby. (For the record, if you ask me this question in ten years, I'm sure I'll be in the latter category.) But for me, the relationship is definitely one that takes time to grow and unfold. And with baby number two, there is less of that sense of wonder at the miracle of life to temper the "lather, rinse, repeat" of daily existence with a newborn + toddler.

Somewhere along the way I fell madly in love with my son, such that the most trivial details of his daily existence ("He finished the 12 piece puzzle -- what a genius!") are endlessly fascinating. I know that will happen with Hava as well. But some days it's hard to see through to that point, stuck as I am in the no-man's-land between the euphoria of the first few weeks and the two-way relationship I know will eventually arrive. The good news, at least, is that we've been through this before. I don't remember it of course -- case in point, I've largely blotted out the memories of Jonah's endless crying, to the point where friends look at me like I'm deranged when I innocently ask "did he really cry that much?" -- but my dear wife has a better memory. And so when I was crying in my drink last night about how things feel at the moment, she reminded me: "you said the exact same thing about Jonah around this time." That -- which I'm sure is true, even if I can't remember it -- bodes very well with how things will unfold with Hava. I'm looking forward to it!

The pictures are a little dated already, but hopefully the placate the masses for the moment. Enjoy!

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I'm Twittering!

2009-04-29T14:11:00.000-07:00

I have this set of pictures of Hava that I've been meaning to put up for two weeks now, but somehow I haven't managed to find the time to write a good post to accompany them. So in the meantime, I'm going to let you in on my recent little experiment with Twitter.

Let me start by saying that I'm not sure I really get Twitter. It's interesting as a social phenomena -- who are all these people who have the free time to Twitter? and why do they bother? -- but I'm not sure I really see the point. Be that as it may, my friend Dave explained the whole Twitter thing to me a little while back and I decided I'd it a try.

They tell me that part of parenting -- and part of life -- is appreciating the beauty in everyday life. So my theory was that by committing myself to Twitter at a respectable rate (which for me is about five times a week -- and surely a lot less than your typical text-message-junkie teenager), I'd force myself to pay attention to those moments of everyday beauty. And then I'd capture their essence with pithy little haiku of 140 characters or less. And through my artistry -- volia! -- I'd learn to become more at peace with the world and transform myself into a better person to boot.

That was the theory, anyway. In practice, I haven't found peace or become a better person, and in fact I've generally found my Twitter habit difficult to keep up. Part of the problem may be that I currently have exactly one follower -- that being someone named SueWong@MakeUMoney who showed up unannounced and uninvited a few weeks back -- which is a situation I fund both pathetic and creepy at the same time. (I should also point out that this means I'm only 1,499,999 or so followers behind Ashton Kutcher, which is pathetic (for different reasons) and also pretty darn funny at the same time.)

So at Ruth Ann's urging, I'm coming out of the closet with my Twitter habit. If for some reason you'd you can't get enough of Jonah and Hava, or if you think you'd like to get bite-sized updates about the mundane details of our life delivered to your iphone, or if you're just curious about this Twitter thing you keep hearing about but aren't ready to swim in the deep water with the Ashton Kutcher followers -- then by all means sign up and keep SueWong@MakeUMoney company. You can find us under the name ToddlerJonah.

Michelle, Pete and the Birth of Imagination

2009-04-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

We first met Michelle and Pete a few short hours after Hava’s baby naming ceremony. They were with us at the ceremony as well, although at that time they were just two nameless stuffed animals in one of Farla’s inimitable centerpieces. The main character in the centerpiece was one of those lifelike baby dolls, one that laughed somewhat ominously when you pressed its belly. (I should add, since we’re on the topic of imagination, that the way my imagination works, those lifelike dolls are creepy – for whatever reason, all I can think of is “Chucky,” if you know what I mean.)

In any event, after the ceremony, Chucky – um, I mean the lifelike doll – said stuffed animals, and the rest of the centerpiece came home with us. And Jonah took an immediate liking to the stuffed animals, which by the way are a pink and a blue giraffe. “Who’s that?” Jonah asks Nan Rossiter, pointing to the pink giraffe. Nan was at a loss, but when Jonah asks “who’s that” he is not to be denied – he can use that phrase like a club, and will beat you into submission with it, so it’s best to come up with some kind of response. Eventually Nan comes up with “Michelle.” Why Michelle, who knows, but it stuck. And when I later asked Jonah who the blue giraffe was, he gave the only logical answer to that question: “Pete.”

And so that’s how Michelle and Pete came into our lives. Since then, they’ve become part of a growing entourage of characters whose imaginary lives sometimes intersect with Jonah’s. You’ve already met another prominent character in this entourage: baby. Baby who nurses, gets burped and needs a diaper change. The other day baby wanted to sit in the swing that Hava was in – what was that about, I wonder? – but eventually settled for sharing breakfast with Jonah in his highchair instead. There’s also Koala and Duckie, and a host of other secondary characters, all of whom occasionally show up to play a role in our days.

But these new changes go broader than just imaginary characters. I’ve often asked Jonah “what did you do today?” when I come home from work. But it’s only recently that’s he’s become proficient at answering that question. And I have to say, the answers often leave my jaw on the ground. It’s not that there’s anything particularly breathtaking about hearing that he saw a fire truck or played with Ivan. But there’s something mind-boggling about watching him give answers that remind me that he’s become a little person – a person with memories, desires, fears and fantasies that will only continue to grow in breadth and depth as the toddler years roll on. On one level, our little exchanges about the events of his day are totally mundane. But on another, I recognize them as the leading edge of a world of changes that will carry him from the corporeal world of infancy into the complex and confusing world of adulthood. It’s fascinating and bittersweet.

This morning in the kitchen, Jonah announced that he was a “baby cow.” (For whatever reason, in Jonah’s mind there are currently no other varieties of cow – these days all cows, large, small, black or white, are babies.) “I’m eating grass.” “Moo!” Around and around the kitchen he lumbered, until the french toast was finished. Then he climbed up in his chair and sat with me at the dining room table for breakfast.

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As many of you recall, Michelle and Pete – Hava’s godparents, not the pink and blue giraffes – spoke beautifully at Hava’s baby naming ceremony. We finally managed to wrest the words to the poem they read out of Michelle, and wanted to post it here to share with all of you. We were touched by the poem, and are all the more touched to have such loving godparents in our daugher’s life.

Sweet little Hava,
the day before you were born
your family went to Stinson Beach
in the misty rain.
They ate brunch
& napped.
Matt cooked dinner.
Jonah learned how to jump.
Your mom looked so great that night.
I told her so.
She said "a woman gets a groundswell of energy just before she gives birth."
8 hours later contractions started.
8 hours later your parents were in labor.
8 hours later you came into the world.
We brough by chicken cacciatori & meatloaf,
pink gerbera daisies to match your skin.
Your hands looked ready for finger painting.
7 pounds of you.
Skin to skin with your mama.
Swaddled with your papa.
Sleeping.
The full moon rose that night.
You came into the world in the space
between high tide and full moon.
A water baby for sure.
Sweet little Hava, we wondered who you were.
Sweet little Hava, we welcome you.
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Since you’ve made it this far, I’m adding one bonus feature: a little video vignette of Michelle and Pete. Before you watch, you need to understand that taking videos has gotten much more difficult lately because Jonah – little narcissist that he is – insists that I turn the monitor on the videocam around so he can see himself while I film. This, unfortunately, leaves me with no way to see what I’m shooting, so I’m left to point the camera generally in the right direction and hope for the best. As you’ll see, it doesn’t always work out perfectly…

Hava's Faces

2009-03-11T21:03:00.000-07:00

I read something recently that said newborn babies are, for lack of a better term, kind of vegetable-like. And in one way, it's true -- after all, let's be honest, they don't really do all that much. On the other hand, I know from first-hand experience (viz., Jonah) that there's a little person in there who's eventually going to start to show herself.

Maybe one way to start to get a glimpse of that little person is to look at Hava's face -- she's quite an expressive little girl. I know the cynical might point out that at this stage of things her facial expressions, like most of the rest of her movements, are largely involuntary. But involuntary or not, they are pretty darn cute!

Photographic Evidence

2009-03-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

I wasn't kidding, he really does nurse the baby doll. See!

Jonah and Hava

2009-03-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

"What's it like having two?" That seems to be a popular question these days. There's a lot we could say in response -- certainly the second baby is a different experience than the first. They are different children with different temperaments, for starters. And I think for us -- maybe for all parents of multiples -- the experience of being parent to a baby is different the second time around. Speaking for myself, I find that I don't have the same sense of wonder this time around -- wonder, as in unbridled awe at the fact that we've bought another life into this world, coupled with that other sense of wonder, as in "I wonder what the #%$@* I've gotten myself into?" I don't mean that in a negative way, necessarily. The experience this time around is still wild and beautiful, but in a different, and sometimes more muted and subtle, way.

One obvious thing that's different, of course, is that there's another member of the family (i.e., Jonah) sharing in the experience. And watching Jonah react to Hava has been one of the more interesting parts of things so far. Jonah didn't really show much interest or awareness during the pregnancy. Surely he must have noticed something was different with Momma, but it wasn't something he really verbalized. However, as soon as they met in person, Jonah started to show an intense curiosity.
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"I want to see him!" (Or "I want to see it!" -- he doesn't quite have the gender thing down just yet...) "Where's Hava?" "Baby's crying." He's got a lot to say about her. Almost immediately he wanted to hold her, which is touching and also a little scary (think: fragile newborn + uncoordinated toddler), although as you can see from the picture, it's pretty cute too! And more recently he's also started to want to cuddle and kiss her and tells her "I love you." I'm sure there's sibling rivalry to come somewhere along the way -- certainly once she gets mobile and starts getting into his stuff -- but so far the experience has been relatively placid.

There've also been some interesting and funny experiences around nursing. As you might imagine, nursing is a powerful thing for little ones, and we were curious and concerned about how Jonah would react to Ruth Ann nursing the new baby. At the suggestion of a nurse at the hospital, we decided not to deny him entirely if he asked to nurse too, but we instead told him he could have a taste on a spoon. So for the first few nursing sessions, Jonah would hurtle toward the kitchen full speed shouting "get a spoon!" -- and then queue up for his taste. It didn't take long, however, before he lost overt interest and no longer pined for a taste (by spoon or otherwise). That said, we could see some jealousy lurking just under the surface, as he'd act out more when Hava was nursing, bouncing on the bed or couch or loudly throwing a ball around the room.

Then there was the funny stuff. For starters, as an extension of Jonah's gender confusion, he often suggests that I try to nurse the crying baby ("Daddy give her 'bubu'," he insists, using his word for nursing.). And more recently, he's decided to get in on the act himself. So a few times now, when Hava is nursing, he goes and gets his baby doll, then pulls up his shirt and "nurses" the doll right along side Ruth Ann. A few times, he's even burped his doll, then insisted on putting her in a diaper (Hava's size, not Jonah's, to boot). And just to make sure the doll doesn't get uncomfortable, he also makes sure to apply diaper cream as well.

The doll smells like Desitin, but we're too amused to care. And if I thought about it hard enough, I'd have to admidt that the whole affair tickles my sense of wonder too.

More Pictures

2009-02-25T13:14:00.001-08:00

First off, for those of you who've read my Friday the 13th post, I wanted you to know that, fortunately, the night I describe in that post is *not* typical. We're actally, dare I say it, doing relatively well. Hava is a baby and she does wake at night. But compared to her brother, she's a champion sleeper. Chances are as soon as I write these words, she'll set about proving me wrong. But for the moment, I thought you'd want to know that most nights do not involve the extremes of crying, pooping children and barfing dogs that were described in my previous post!

Hava is doing well and is already up past her birth weight, which is a good sign she's thriving. Here are some more pictures we've taken over the last few days, along with some fun ones from our trip to Stinson Beach on the day before Hava was born. Someone told us that the sound of the ocean can stimulate labor. Guess they were right, since less than 24 hours after our trip, Ruth Ann was in labor!

The Honeymoon Is Over

2009-02-13T21:20:00.000-08:00

For about the first 64 hours after Hava's birth, we were able to keep alive our secret fantasy that baby #2 was going to be a different, easier experience. Hava indulged us -- she appeared to be calm, quiet and easy-going -- and we found ourselves thinking "hey, we paid our dues on baby #1, so it's only right that we get one of those easy, non-crying, "oh she's been sleeping through the night since she was six weeks old" babies.

That was the first 64 hours. But starting on Thursday night, Hava (with some help from Jonah and Ella) got to work throwing cold water on our fantasies. (Actually, it would be a little more accurate to say that she took a great big baby poop all over our fantasies... but I'm getting ahead of myself.)

Thursday night began with a slightly more agitated baby, who appeared to have no interest in sleep and a nearly insatiable appetite for nursing. Several hours in, Hava and Jonah started a routine where Hava would cry and agitate for more nursing, then as soon as she was settled, Jonah would cry out from his room and I'd stagger out of bed and go to calm him.

(I should digress for a minute: recently Jonah has started this thing where he stays laying down in his crib and cries softly until someone comes in his room, at which point he stops crying and goes back to sleep without the slightest bit of encouragement -- apparently he just wants to know that we're still around and thinking about him. This has been going on few a week or two, and I don't really have the heart to do anything other than indulge it given all the changes happening in Jonah's world at the moment.)

Anyway, after a few rounds of the Hava-Jonah chorus, we decided enough was enough and next time Jonah cried we weren't going to get him. After all, he calmed in seconds and clearly didn't need us, right? He had different plans, and kept it up for 20 minutes, at which point I relented and went in to see what was amiss.

Scene: Jonah's bedroom. Matt enters from stage left, hair and clothes askew from futile attempts at sleep. Jonah is sitting in his crib, legs dangling between the bars, looking wide awake.
"Jonah, it's two in the morning. It's time for sleeping."
"Find an alligator?" (I have no idea why he says this. We've never discussed alligators before. And certainly not at 2 in the morning.)
"Um, Jonah, can we look for the alligator in the morning?"
"OK."
Jonah promptly flops down on his mattress and goes back to sleep.

I returned to the bedroom and had barely closed my eyes when Ruth Ann woke me. "Hava pooped." Now that was an understatement. You non-parents probably want to stop reading now, but for the rest of you, let me tell you: if my first baby pooped like that, I never would have had a second. After cleaning the baby, the onesie the baby wore, the pants that were outside the onesie, the blanket wrapped around the onesie and pants, the towels that we grabbed to try to contain the whole mess, and miscellaneous other walls and surfaces that suffered collateral damage, we about as far from sleep as you can get.

We all climbed back in bed and just barely drifted off when Ella woke us with the unmistakable heaving sounds of a dog throwing up on the bedroom carpet. Like my third grade math teacher liked to say, "some days you get the elevator..."

Sometime around 4:30 a.m., after further antics and incessant nursing, Ruth Ann abandoned ship and headed to the living room couch, muttering something about her nipples falling off. Hava gave me a look and began to work into a cry. But then, perhaps sensing that she ought not push things too far on her second night home, she relented and let me get her in a decent swaddle and gently shush her to sleep. I got us both in bed, snuggled her against my chest, and we both drifted off for a merciful, maybe even blissful, three hour sleep.

All's well that ends well, or so I'm told. Seems like that applies here.

Baby Hava Arrives!

2009-02-12T11:45:00.000-08:00

We are happy to report that we can finally stop answering the phone with "no baby yet."

Yes, Hava Dov Rossiter (aka "baby #2") finally arrived on Monday night! It was few days after her official due date -- apparently she was operating on Jewish standard time -- but she was all the more welcome for it. We're back at home now, recovering and adjusting to life as a family of four.

We'll work on getting more pictures together -- lots are on other people's cameras -- but for now here's what we've got (click on photo to link to rest of album):

Baby Hava!

A little about her name: Hava is derived from the Hebrew word for "life" (think "L'chayim!") and also lets her carry an "H" in memory of Ruth Ann's father, Hershey. Dov is kind of fun and multi-faceted. It was part of Hershey's Hebrew name (Zvi Dov). In English (think "Dove") it gives her an animal name that echoes her brother's (Jonah Baer). And the parallel works even better in Hebrew, since Dov is in fact the Hebrew word for "bear." And like her brother, Hava carries the Rossiter surname in honor of Matt's family.

Reflections, While We're Waiting...

2009-02-03T20:23:00.000-08:00

As we count down the days to baby #2's due date (we're now down to one day left, and still no sign of her...) there is a opportunity to reflect on the changes we've been through over the last two years and the changes that will soon come. In fact, I recently spent a few hours (and then a few more hours, and then a few more...but that's another story) organizing all the videos of Jonah that we've taken, which prompted some reflections.

One thing that stands out to me -- and I'm sure will stand out all the more when baby #2 arrives to provide a point of contrast -- is just how much Jonah has grown up over these two short years. Two years ago, he was just a cute but helpless little grub. Today, he's tripled in weight (think about that!), doubled in size, learned to talk, walk and run, and generally just grown into being a little person.

One of the more notable ways I've experienced this growth has been in the time I spend putting Jonah to bed. I've been fortunate that more often than not I am able to make it home in time to help put Jonah to bed (albeit sometimes at the price of some late nights on the computer at home). Even when he was nursing, we'd do a hand-off where I'd read and Ruth Ann would nurse him to sleep. More recently, the bed time has usually been a daddy thing from end to end.

Being there consistently at bedtime has provided a really basic and interesting way of measuring change. It's simple: I do the same thing at the same time each night. From one night to the next it's hard to notice much difference. But as the nights pile up, one atop another, it's clear that things are shifting. I know what you're saying: "Such is life. What's the big deal?" But -- if we except out the nights when I'm tired and hungry and just want to get the kid to bed so I can get on to whatever's next on life's endless to-do list -- I'd say that the nightly routine of putting Jonah to bed has provided one of those rare experiences (rare for me, anyway) to brush against the profundity that lies underneath the rituals of everyday life.

I'm getting long-winded, I know, but here's a little narrative of how it's gone: When I started out putting Jonah to bed, I'd often have him swaddled in a blanket and laid out across the length of my forearm (imagine that he was no longer than my forearm!) I'd shush him and shake him (gently!) and sing a tuneless version of 'Hush Little Baby.' More recently bedtime evolved into reading a few books, and then turning off the light and rolling him up onto my chest, facing in. He'd snuggle into my chest, place his head on my shoulder, and often fall asleep while I was holding him (again, usually after the aforementioned tuneless singing). As time passed and Jonah grew, he no longer fit so snugly against me -- his little feet would spill out over the edges of my lap and his arms would swing out into space. I'd have to slouch low and lean way back in the chair to create a surface large enough for Jonah to lie against. And eventually he could no longer get comfortable enough in my lap to fall asleep. Sometime he still snuggles against me, melting my heart every time. A lot of the time now, he asks me to sing and then sings right along -- oddly, and thankfully given my limited repertoire, it's almost always 'Hush Little Baby,' which he and I sing together, neither caring that our voices are out of tune. I like to think that's because we're in tune in the ways it really matters.

Since you've read all this way, you might as well enjoy one of those videos I was talking about a while back. It's an oldie -- from summer 2007, I'd guess -- but makes Ruth Ann laugh every time.

January 20, 2009

2009-01-21T23:44:00.000-08:00

We wanted to let everyone know that Jonah was very happy about the change in presidential administration... and he has been making sure to let everyone within earshot know!

News Flash

2009-01-18T22:25:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, we have some news. For those of you who don't...well, um, we have some news.

I think Jonah is figuring it out. Are you?

If not, see if this video helps:

Happy Hanukkah!

2009-01-02T22:00:00.000-08:00

December is over, as -- so they tell me -- is the whole of 2008. But nonetheless, here's wishing you a (slightly belated) Happy Hanukkah!
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It's been a quiet month of December in some ways. For various reasons we've been sticking close to home. It's also been a month of big events: Matt finished his second semester of teaching, to a mixture of satisfaction and relief. Ruth Ann has left her job, wrapping up 5-1/2 very accomplished years as Executive Director of Rebuilding Together San Francisco.

And Jonah Baer turned two years old on December 14, wrapping up a year of mind-boggling change. Everyone who's ever been a parent seems to tell you that kids really grow up fast -- and let me tell you something: they aren't kidding! It's hard to fathom that just about a year ago Jonah was truly an infant -- just learning to crawl with competence, not yet saying anything we recognized as a word. In the relatively short span of a year, he's learned:

* To walk, then run (so much so that now it often seems he's got only two speeds: stop and running full speed!)

* To talk up a storm, stringing four or more words together at a clip.

* To recognize shapes -- circles, squares and stars -- and colors (albeit less reliably) -- red, yellow, green and his favorite purple.

* To begin to count by numbers -- one, two, three... although more often than not skipping around... three, seven, eight.

Even in just the last few weeks his communication skills have seemed to grow leaps and bounds. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it feels like in some ways his talking has become, well, more "grown up." I think it's not just the words he says, but the growing intelligence that is clearly at work in the background -- for example, he often links concepts: sees the picture of scissors and says "haircut"; or (my recent favorite) hears "mac and cheese" and says "Karen and Mac" (Mac being Karen's dog). For a being who couldn't get out a single-syllable word a year ago, this is truly rocket science -- what have any of the rest of us done in the last year that compares!

More Fun in the Fall!

2008-11-08T21:05:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to add a new post here for weeks, and even put the video and pictures together back in September. That, I guess, should tell you something about how the fall is going. With Ruth Ann busy at work and me moonlighting as a teacher at Stanford again we aren't finding ourselves with much in the way of free time.

There's a lot to tell about what's going on with Jonah, but they tell me a picture is worth a thousand words, so here's 19,000 words, plus however much credit I get for a video:

Exhibit A: Jonah Baer Can Dance. He's got moves, that kid. He'll dance to almost anything, sometimes even stopping on the sidewalk to dance to the music that drifts out from nearby stores. Given the choice though, he seems to prefer the blues. Well, that and Flight of the Conchords...

Exhibit B: We Still Take Some Pictures. It's true - if you graphed the frequency with which we've been taking pictures over time, it would look a lot like a graph of the value of your 401(k). Well maybe not with as precipitious a drop, but certainly the frequency has gone down. Still, we did manage to take a few pictures this fall, and here are the highlights:

More Words from Jonah

2008-10-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

Jonah has always been a verbal kid -- a fact his mother, never short on words herself, finds unsurprising. In fact, for a while now has has been speaking in complete sentences, which he delivers in a very animated and emphatic manner. Unfortunately, however, to our adult ears, his sentences are almost completely unintelligible. Still it's pretty amazing to hear Jonah immitate the patterns of adult communication.

And we can see that in not too long, Jonah's sentences will turn into words we can fully understand. His vocabulary has continued to grow over the last few months, and in recent weeks it has really blossomed. And overall his pronunciation has gotten quite good, although there are a few really cute mispronunciations that we can't bear to correct ("opie," for open; and "tummel," for tunnel). He's mastered the two-word sentence -- for example, "up bed" (I'd like to get up on the bed now, please) and "no shoes" (pretty self-explanatory, I think) -- and longer sentences seem like they're right over the horizon.

Here's an example of where he's at now, showing off his pronunciation skills:

Promotes Toddling

2008-08-12T20:31:00.001-07:00

In just the last few days something small but notable happened: Jonah started towing around his toddling pull-toys -- of which he has several -- and get this, 'cause this is the important part: he's towing them by their string!

Pull-toys seem to be popular baby gifts, and for going on 20 months now we've had a bunch of them lying around. But never once (until just now) has Jonah shown the slightest interest in using them in their intended manner. So, naturally, we had eventually concluded that the whole pull-toy industry was just a hoax designed to sell more toys to witless parents. Then - lo! - out of nowhere Jonah starts pulling the toys around like he's read some sort of manual on how to act like a baby.

So, go figure, from time to time these toys really do get used as intended. I'm sure it's only going to be a couple months more before Jonah learns that a pull-toy, when whirled about by its string, makes a convincing facsimile of a medieval mace.

But in the meantime, it's pretty darn sweet to watch him tow his wooden snail (and his musical turtle, and his bear-in-a-boat...) around by its string.

Jonah is the Cutest!

2008-08-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

We think Jonah is the cutest kid around, and we can't understand why everyone we meet doesn't immediately acknowledge this fact. Maybe we're biased -- who knows? -- anything's possible... But really -- isn't he cute?
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In the backyard, with chalk, it's the cutest baby ever.
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For us and our cute kid, summer has been sailing by. We just spent a nice Sunday up in the north bay. In the morning, we drove up to Santa Rosa and met our friends Scott and Molly and their 18 month old daughter Audrey (who were up there to watch another friend run the Vineman triathlon) at Howarth Park, which is this ridiculously big kid's park with a half-dozen different play structures, ponies, trains and a merry-go-round. If you're ever in Santa Rosa with kids between 1 and 11 -- unlikely, I know -- you should really check it out. We then drove over to Sonoma while Jonah took a quick snooze in the carseat, then hopped on bikes (with Jonah in the Burley trailer) for a 20 mile ride through wine country. We had grilled cheese sandwiches and cookies (and Jonah put grilled-cheese-grease handprints all over the mirrored walls) at a cafe in Sonoma. And we managed to make it back down the 80 on a Sunday night without hitting any traffic. All in all a nice way to spend a weekend day -- we need to do more of this.

As summer passes, Jonah continues to grow. Lately it's feeling mostly like "slowly but surely" growing. Nothing dramatic like learning to walk. But there are little things every day, like drawing with crayons and chalk, learning to climb up on the bed (and the kitchen table!), picking up a new word. Each day a new "baby step" toward growing up, I guess.

There have been a few rough patches too, no doubt. A few weeks ago, Jonah was getting in four new molars and at the same time we were weaning him off the morning nursing. Much as Ruth Ann loves the nursing, it was getting exhausting for her, and with us thinking about trying for #2 (yup!) the concept of nursing and growing another baby at the same time was just too much. So for a stretch of days, morning wake-up duties were entirely mine. And what fun they were! Jonah would wake up early and grumpy (you might too if you were growing four new teeth, I suppose), and I'd drag me and my sore back out of bed, over to Jonah's room, and through his door with as cheerful a "good morning" as I could muster. Jonah would take one look at me, quickly determine that I was not the one with the long hair and breasts, and throw himself on the floor of the crib, wailing with maximum intensity. Talk about a rough wake-up. Good news is that phase has passed and lately Jonah is back to waking up cheerfully, babbling away in his crib until someone comes in to get him and start the day.

Jonah was having so much fun this summer, he insisted on putting together this slideshow to prove it to you. (Clicking on the slideshow should get you bigger pictures -- enjoy!)

Back to Hawaii

2008-06-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

Hey, remember these guys?

Well, here they are again -- it's one year later, Jonah is bigger, Mommy and Daddy have a few more grey hairs, and we're all back in Hawaii!

From Hawaii (2008)

That's right, at then end of May we took a last-minute trip to Kauai, Hawaii. This was a vacation on toddler time: we didn't go to far (mostly just to the beach, and occasionally for a hike), took naps in the afternoon, and tried to go to bed early. Jonah was much more mobile this time around, of course, and enjoyed sitting in the surf and playing with sand. We took a few pictures too, which you can access with the link in the photo above.

"And was it relaxing?" you ask (as everyone did). Well, here's a little slice of life on vacation with a toddler. Watch it and you be the judge.

Jonah Talks!

2008-06-10T23:16:00.000-07:00

But wait, there's more: now he talks too! Jonah's vocabularly has been growing steadily over the last few weeks. Popular words include: agua (water of any shape or size, from drinking water to the Pacific Ocean), 'nana (banana), 'ack-ack (cracker), shoes, socks, hat, doggie, cat, duckie (for both ducks and more or less anything else Jonah can't figure out the word for), horse and 'ish (aka fish). Jonah also has a few signs, like the sign for more (fingers pointing at palm) and his own one-of-a-kind sign for music, which involves waiving his hands like a maestro while clucking his tounge.

We tried to capture some of this on video -- here's the result:

Jonah is Walking!

2008-05-14T21:55:00.000-07:00

Yup, finally! It actually started happening around Rebuilding Weekend (April 26-27). But Jonah, having "walked" around for months beforehand while towing a patient adult by the fingers, quickly advanced from drunken staggering (as shown in the video here), to toddling, to nearly running. At this point, you'd never know he's been walking only three weeks. We're still a little dumbfounded by Jonah's new skill -- the fact that we can put him down and have him stand up and walk off somehow doesn't quite square (mentally) with the less-mobile Jonah that we've known for the last 16 months -- but Jonah seems entirely at home with the new skill and happy to be walking (and running) everywhere his little feet can take him.

A Few of His Favorite Things

2008-04-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

I just recently went through Jonah's stuff and boxed up the (now unused) baby toys. Doing this reminded me that I've been meaning for a while to write about some of Jonah's favorite toys. What exactly constitutes his favorite toy is something that changes over time, which I guess is part of the story.

For a while, the clear favorite was the rocking horse gifted to him by his Aunt Ellie. It's a wooden rocking horse that Ellie took the time to handpaint herself (thank you Ellie!). In its heyday Jonah loved nothing better than to pull it out, mount up (a process which, since his legs are a bit short, involved a hair-raising stand-on-the-saddle maneuver in order to get his legs straddling the seat), and rock away with compelte abandon. And all the while, he'd be shouting "be-la-be-la-be!" -- which is apparently baby-speak for "giddyup!" The most notable thing however (Ellie, are you still listening?) is that the rocking horse seems to have received less-than-thorough scrutiny from the Consumer Product Safety Commission, and every time Jonah rocks away with abandon, he comes within a hair's breadth of completely flipping over backwards. Part of the issue is that when I say he rocks with abandon, I really mean it: he's like a drunken 17 month old cowboy, riding the mechanical bull down at the local bar. The other part of the issue is probably that Ellie and the rocking horse come from Canada and (no doubt due to their inefficient socialist form of government) they have fewer personal injury lawyers.
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Ride em' drunken cowboy!
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Another recurring favorite is the ride-on scooter gifted to him by Bleema and Richard. It has waxed and waned in fashion, but recently Jonah has discovered that his legs are now long enough that he can push himself along under his own power. (Before he could get on the scooter, but then was stuck with beeseching us to push him around.)

And then there's also the noise-making toys. Try as we might to interest Jonah in vegan organic wooden blocks and other similar politically-correct playthings, there's nothing he finds quite as delightful as a noisy plastic battery-operated gadget. If I could find a way to put the sound files up on this blog, I surely would, as it pains me to know that you're all missing out on experiencing this precious slice of childhood.

Anyway, if I can't share the sounds of childhood, at least enjoy a few more pictures:

Does Jonah Need a Haircut? (And Other News)

2008-03-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

We don't think so! He's gone 15 months without, and as far as we're concerned (and except for the occasional dreadlock) he looks great! And, go figure, Jonah has been growing right along with his hair. He's now fully a toddler: he seems to be on the verge of walking, on the verge of talking, and, to some combination of our amazement and dismay, on the verge of become his own independent little person.
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Does Jonah need a haircut? "No-no-no-no-
no-no-no-no," he says.
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So let's talk about the talking thing for a moment: In recent weeks, Jonah has starting to make a surprising number of sounds that resemble real grown-up words. One of the first to arrive was "Ella", which is not surprising since it's probably the most frequently-spoken word in our house (e.g., "Ella, don't eat that!" "Ella, do you have to lie right in the middle of the doorway?" "Ella, please don't dismember the mailman!" and so forth.) We also seem to be getting a reliable "ma-ma" and "ball". And Da-da (who is still waiting in vain to hear his name) swears that Jonah once read most of the words to "Goodnight Gorilla" aloud, although that feat has not been repeated since.

However, we're chagrined, and worried, to report that the very first word seems to have been that all-time toddler favorite: "no". Or, in its more emphatic version, an unbroken string of syllables: "no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no". For this gift, we place the blame squarely in the lap of Eric Hill, a man we've never met, but who we know as the "author" (and the appropriateness of that honorific is debatable here) of the world's worst children's book: "Where's Spot?"

Let us relate the plot of "Where's Spot?" (and don't worry, it won't take long): the story involves the timeless theme of a mother's search for her child. In this case, Mama dog is looking in various rooms in a house for her baby ("Spot") in order to feed him dinner. In each room, Mama dog asks about a particular location ("Is he behind the door?" "Is he under the bed?") and the reader is invited to open a little paper door or flip up a little paper bedskirt so as to look for himself. But Spot isn't in any of these locations. Instead -- inexplicably -- there are a variety of unlikely and somewhat scary other animals. There's a creepy bear behind the door, a scary aligator under the bed, and so forth. And, more importantly for our purposes, each time the reader is left with is the same answer: a simple, plain, unadorned "NO". No other dialogue. No variation in plot. No explanation as to why this menagerie is hanging around the house. Nothing except one big fat "NO" after another. And this, dear reader, is our child's favorite book. So I suppose its no surprise that his first word was what it was...

All this ranting aside, I do have to say: it's still incredibly cute to hear Jonah read along with "Where's Spot" in his quiet, hesitating, little baby voice. I know at some point (really soon, probably) I'll have heard more "no's" than I can bear. But at the moment, there's still a sense of wonder that -- whatever the words -- my baby is finding his voice.
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Tahoe :-(

2008-02-16T11:24:00.000-08:00

We gave a try to a vacation last week. It sounded good in principle. But in practice it turned out to be more or less a total bust.
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"Have fun, dammit," says Jonah.
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The concept was to go up to Tahoe with our friends Laura and Dave and their baby Judah. They're fun to hang out with (and moving at about our speed, owing to the fact that they also have a 1 year old), and, really, the hanging out with them part was about the only thing that worked out.

Plan was to leave Thursday night. However, all day Wednesday and Thursday Jonah was miserable and wouldn't settle for anything other than being held. Then Thursday a major storm blew in and we decided against driving up at night. Instead we stayed home and tried to comfort an increasingly distressed and unhappy Jonah as he woke every hour or two throughout the night. At about 6 am, after a luxurious two hour uninterrupted period of sleep, Jonah woke again and we decided to make a break for it. We did manage to get to Tahoe (with minimal crying, at that) but Jonah only seemed to get worse, and we ended up at a doctor's (out of network...) with a diagnosis of bronchitis.

Saturday a storm blew in again, Matt spent about 2 hours trying to ski in miserable conditions, and Ruth Ann got the bronchitis. By Sunday morning we had a good two feet of new snow, and (in the highlight of Matt's weekend) had a good ol' time trying to get the Civic dug out and onto a road that was somewhat plowed. Neither happy nor willing to risk more snow, we drove back as the sun came through the clouds, looking at the glorious skiing weather on fresh powder in the rearview.

On Monday, Matt got the bronchitis.

Here's all the pictures we managed to take:

Tahoe 2008

Jonah Turns One!

2008-01-13T11:58:00.001-08:00

It's official: Jonah is one year old! We now understand why parents are always commenting on how fast the time seems to pass. The first year certainly went that way for us. We spent our time working through the everyday challenges (and joys) of life as two working parents with an infant, and suddenly we looked up to find that our son had grown from a helpless tiny grub with no voluntary muscle control to speak of to... well... a somewhat bigger and more wilful grub -- one who can crawl, babble and generally get into far more trouble than a year ago!

So how is Jonah at one year? Well here's a picture of our wild-haired little one, demonstrating his delicate eating habits -- we kind of think this says it all!

To tell you a little more: He crawls (very fast!), though doesn't yet walk. Babbles vociferously, though doesn't yet say much we can understand. He sleeps through the night almost every night. He loves people and is quick to give (and generate) smiles from everyone he meets. Though sometimes exhausting, he's generally a joy to be around!

In fact, the other day we were commenting to friends that after all the struggles and sleepless nights that we had in those early months, Jonah has actually seemed to transform into a remarkably easy baby! That night, Jonah came down with a fever and woke every hour or two, screaming inconsolably. It was just like old times! I can't say that it made us nostolgic, but at least we knew it would pass.

I don't know that we're going to be any better at updating this blog in the new year. We'll do our best, but I think we've now figured out what our rhythm is -- we hope you can live with it. In the meantime, enjoy some pictures from our winter adventures.

December 2007

More Pictures from the Fall

2008-01-13T11:45:00.000-08:00

We didn't do so well on updating the blog this fall -- but we did take a few more pictures. Enjoy!

Fall 2007 #2

Naked Time!

2007-11-03T19:49:00.000-07:00

The fall has been even busier than expected -- go figure! I (Matt) am certainly enjoying teaching, but I'm also looking forward to a time when I can reduce my workload to a mere one full time job. Ruth Ann has finally hired for some of the open positions at her organization, so that in theory should help her out. But busy we are nonetheless.

Jonah meanwhile keeps on growing. He's nearing one year (coming up December 14)! And he's certainly not an infant anymore -- it's amazing to look at the difference between now and the early pictures on this blog. But there's one thing about Jonah that's been constant across the months: he loves being naked!

Sure, it's true, who doesn't love being naked. But it's apparently a very special thing for babies. Every time he gets naked, whether for a temporary clothing-change, a short term bath, or a longer-term naked romp in the backyard, his delight and enthusiasm is the same. We, on the other hand, have some mixed feelings. On one hand, there's sharing in Jonah's delight with his natural state. On the other hand...well, it's mostly too disgusting to write about in much detail, but suffice it to say that naked + not potty trained has led to some very unsavory situations. Were that we were our youthful hippy selves from days of yore, unconcerned with niceties like sanitation. But since we are who we are now, we do our best to strike a balance between our needs for basic sanitation with Jonah's need for naked time... and we hope that we all come out ok through the occassional (and, ideally, well timed) extended bits of naked time in the backyard!

Fall 2007

2007-09-20T23:59:00.000-07:00

Fall is here, and this freight train called life keeps rolling along. We're both busy at work, in mostly a good way -- I (Matt) am even more busy, having started a second job teaching part time at a law school, but so far the joy of teaching is worth the extra pain and late nights, so I'm dealing as best I can.

Jonah just keeps on growing. One bit of good news: he's now sleeping through the night! After my optimistic blog post in May, his sleeping regressed again, and we had a few more months of night wakings (albeit a little less frequent, at least). However, a few weeks ago we woke to discover that he'd slept all the way 'til morning. We'd like to think the "sleep training", sleep consultant (yup, for real!) and/or innumerable sleep-related books we read finally came together to produce the desired result, but more likely Jonah just made up his mind that now was the time to start sleeping better. In any event, for the last few weeks, he's been reliably sleeping from 7pm to 6am, and whatever the reason, we're counting our blessings.

It's more than just the sleep, though. There's been a real change in Jonah's personality and demeanor these last few months, and I think both Ruth Ann and I would say that he has become a real joy to be around. In fact -- dare we tempt fate? -- we might say he's become an "easy kid"! He's a smiley, happy and remarkably even-tempered. He rarely cries, except for the occasional trouble going to sleep. And he has an insatiable curiosity, and a contagious sense of wonder, about all that the world has to offer. While being a parent has always been a special experience, we certainly feel like we took some lumps early on, and so this new phase has been especially welcome.

And last but not least, as of a few days ago he's got two new teeth! You can see the teeth, and a whole lot more, in our newest picture roll. Enjoy!

Fall 2007

New Adventures

2007-08-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

After several weeks of backing himself into corners, under beds, and into other akward spots, we're proud to announce that Jonah has finally mastered the art of crawling forward! Trouble is soon to follow, but for now his crawling is very cute.

Another new adventure for Jonah has been going on bike rides. I (Matt) found a used tow-behind bike trailer and have taken Jonah for several rides. Jonah is remarkably content to sit in the trailer and watch the world go by, and I can now get a workout in on weekends while entertaining Jonah at the same time. So far we've taken the Bart out over (through, really) the hills, then rode out by Orinda and Lafayette. We're not breaking any speed records, but at least I get some bonus perseverance points for towing Jonah up big hills!

Mr. Messy

2007-08-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

Jonah has been at this eating thing for a little while. I can't quite remember how long, but at least since six months or so. Yet somehow he still manages to get food all kinds of places that aren't his mouth...

Despite (or maybe because) of that, it's a lot of fun to feed him. Although he isn't feeding himself yet, he does occassionally try to "help". Most of his help consists mostly of opening his mouth like a little bird, which is very cute. But sometimes he "helps" by grabbing the spoon, stabbing himself in the mouth, and decorating his face and hands with food. Then he really gets to be Mr. Messy!

We're Back!

2007-07-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Summer is racing by, and Jonah is growing fast! He's sitting up - and no doubt will soon be crawling everywhere too.

And yes, we've been a little delinquent in updating the blog. We have excuses - not that you want to hear them - including a broken computer that Matt decided to (try to) fix by rebuilding a new machine from scratch. That took a while...let's just say that the undocumented Microsoft Windows installation process (who knew it when they ask for disk 3 they really mean put disk 1 back in again) engendered some delay and much cursing. In any event, the time for excuses is past, and we'll try to be a little better about updating the blog from here on out. In the meantime, enjoy a few pictures from our summer so far.

Summer 2007

Sleep Training

2007-05-22T23:49:00.000-07:00

It's the question everyone seems to ask: "So, is he sleeping through the night yet?" For the last two months, our answer has been a resounding "no". (Actually, our real answer has been largely unprintable, but for purposes of this entry, let's just stick with "no".) For a while, we coped surprisingly well. But somewhere along the way, our patience and adrenaline ran out, and we were left irritable and exhausted.

Ruth Ann, perhaps thinking that this would all be of interest to anthropologists of the distant future, took detailed notes of our day to day experiences of waking and sleep. Here's a taste, this from Monday, April 2: 8pm to bed; 10pm wake up crying, nurse back to sleep; 2am wake up crying, try to nurse back to sleep, cry some more, pace floors playing CD of hairdryer noise at maximum volume until 4am, finally go back to sleep; 6:30am, wake bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to begin day!

Apparently there are some babies who magically fall into a regular, sane sleep routine on their own. But Jonah clearly wasn't in that category, and so our options seemed limited. Between sorting through the information available from the internet, the profusion of books on "sleep training" for babies, and the limitless advice of well-meaning friends, colleagues, and pretty much anyone with two lips and working jaw muscles, we concluded that it all boils down to one of three options: co-sleep, cry it out, or walk around like a zombie.

After trying the walk around like a zombie option for a few weeks too many, Ruth Ann's resistance finally waned and we switched to cry it out. We had some differences of opinion on how to implement this method and so, I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit, after a few false starts we ended up hiring a "sleep consultant" (who knew there was such a thing?!), who more or less instructed us to put Jonah down awake at bedtime, each nap and each night waking, let him cry for up to 45 minutes.

This was not fun. When you listen to your own baby cry, the minutes truly seem like hours. But the funny thing was that although we were agonizing over the crying, Jonah didn't seem to mind a bit. He'd sleep longer than he ever had before - night wakings went away in a couple days and he now sleeps 9-12 hours in a stretch! - and best of all he'd wake up full of smiles. Everyone seemed to notice his change in mood and new sense of contentment. And that for us was the proof in the pudding: happy baby, happy parents!

Kill the Bear!

2007-04-26T23:57:00.000-07:00

OK, let me explain: So back when Ruth Ann was pregnant, my thoughtful assistant Michelle gets us this cute little miniature blue teddy bear - a Gund, very nice and all. The bear has a relatively uneventful life, until one day our babysitter Lucia hangs the bear up in Jonah's swinging chair. This is well and good, as Jonah can now look at the bear, except that Lucia has hung the bear by its neck, which makes it look a bit like we're in the old west and the bear ended up on the wrong side of the law. Thing is, Jonah really likes looking at the hanging bear. And now that he's getting control over his hands, he constantly tries to grab the bear and - what else these days? - stick it in mouth. So far, the bear seems to be holding up all right, but some days it takes quite a thrashing! Pictures and video attached - enjoy!

Aloha from Hawaii!

2007-04-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

We're recently back from Kauai, Hawaii, where we spent a week getting some well-needed rest. We didn't get out for quite as many adventures as we hoped, but we did spent lots of time enjoying the beautiful view from the condo where we stayed and catching up on our sleep. Jonah was a great traveller - he barely cried at all on the plane. And we learned that if he can be "convinced" to close his eyes and take two or three naps during the day (and believe us, lots of convincing as needed, as Jonah finds the world a very interesting place and is very reluctant to stop looking around at it long enough to fall asleep) then he turns into quite the smiley, happy baby boy.

A few pictures from our trip are linked to above. Matt, in collaboration with our neighbor Mark (the products editor for Wired magazine), finally convinced Ruth Ann to spring for a new camera, and we're all quite happy with the results. If you're curious, it's a Nikon D40, which is their new, low-end (but still not cheap!) digital SLR. It looks like a "real" camera and makes a satisfying real-camera "click" each time you press the shutter button, but also has a bunch of fully-automated shooting modes for when you don't have the time or interest in fussing with all the controls. If you buy one, let me know so I can collect my free toaster... and in the meantime, enjoy the new pictures!

Mama writes!

2007-04-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

Mama is at last adding to the blog! Between the sleep deprivation and other demands of an infant I have been too exhausted to write. But Jonah is now watching his mobile (which I lovingly refer to as kiddie k(c)rack) and I have a few moments.

Things Jonah has done recently (he is now 16 weeks old but these ideas were joted down a few weeks ago).

Apparently at week 12 there is a huge developmental leap and Jonah seems to be in the thick of it (along with the requisite fussiness!).

Recognized himself in the mirror and smiled at himself and mommy. This happened at a shoe store in our local mall – see it pays to go shopping.

Smiled at and patted his teddy bear.

Petted Ella and laughed.

Laid on the grass in our backyard and looked around.

Shook and held a rattle.

Recognized the pattern on a lampshade and pillow.

Wrote his graduate thesis (just kidding, wanted to know if you were still reading!)

We were able to turn his frown upside down!

Drolling a lot and keeping his hand and other things in his mouth constantly.

Rolled a little (not yet on his back).

Learned how to shriek!

Hugs!

I'm Getting Bigger!

2007-04-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

And wearing Matt and Ruth Ann out! Sorry we haven't been posting to the blog lately. March came and went like a whirlwind. Jonah has been growing a lot, and is starting to hold his head up on his own (see the picture!). However, to his parents dismay, he's not yet sleeping on his own, at least not very well. But hopefully that will come in time. We'll try to be a little more regular in posting to the blog, but for now, stop complaining and enjoy these pictures for the last month:

Month Three

Month Two - And More Pictures

2007-02-21T00:12:00.000-08:00

Hard to believe, but we're already past the two month mark! There were fussy days and sleepless nights, and we definitely spent some time on the lower parts of that parent satisfaction curve that Matt described. But the end of month two has bought a reduction in fussyness, more sleeping at night, and best of all lots of smiles.

We aren't quite getting the pictures we'd like out of our current camera (maybe we need to spring for that expensive model Kevin Penn is pushing...), but we did get a few from this month that are worth sharing. Enjoy!

Month Two

Pidyon HaBen Video Added

2007-02-05T22:25:00.000-08:00

We never did get that many good still photos from the Pidyon HaBen, but we do have some video footage and Matt managed to put some pieces together into a "music video". Link below will take you to our Google photo gallery. Video is first item in the album.

You Know You're Tired When...

2007-02-05T00:01:00.000-08:00

...you try to put your son's hat on your own head.

(Yes, this picture was posed. But as witnessed by the whole LeaderSpring group, Ruth Ann really did try to put Jonah's hat on.)

Welcome to the World, Jonah Baer

2007-01-22T21:25:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, January 14, we gathered with family and friends to hold a baby naming ceremony and celebrate the Jewish tradition of Pidyon HaBen. Rabbi Jan Goldstein, a longtime friend of the Binder family, helped us put together a beautiful ceremony and presided over the occassion. Ruth Ann's mother Farla and Matt's father Doug spoke about the respective families into which Jonah has been born. Our friend Lauren sang a lullabye. Our goddaughter Louisa brought a picture of an elf (and her brother Benno drew Jonah a dragon for strong magic protection). Friends offered blessing and good wishes. Jonah Baer Rossiter, Tzvi Dov in Hebrew, was welcomed to this world.

Times like this also bring a carry an element of sadness for the passing of Ruth Ann's father Hershey. Even though he wasn't with us physically, Hershey's gentle and loving presence was there throughout. We began the ceremony under his tallit, held over us as a huppah (a wedding canopy) by our family. And as the ceremony ended, Jan heard Hershey's voice telling him to take the Torah out of the ark and bring it to Jonah. Jan brought the Torah to where the three of us sat, and Jonah reached out his hand. We cried. Tears of joy for our child, blessed with wonderful family and friends. Tears of sadness for the grandfather Jonah will never meet in person. Tears of joy for the knowledge that Hershey will be there throughout Jonah's life, in spirit, in memory and in the Jewish traditions that Hershey loved so well.

Ten Pounds of Trouble

2007-01-22T20:30:00.000-08:00

Some days look like this, except we're not smiling as much...

We still love our little one, of course. And he's certainly very cute. He tracks things with his eyes quite well now, and occassionally blesses us with something resembling a smile. But he's also become a lot more fussy the last couple days, or so it seems. Perhaps it's the age: we're told that at around 5 weeks infants go through a big (and disorienting) developmental leap than can lead to fussiness (...then again, can't everything?). Perhaps it's just the accumulated effect of the last five weeks, which Ruth Ann sometimes describes as "one long day".

Matt's opinion: When Jonah was born, our pediatrician's office gave us a booklet (sort of like an owner's manual, although not quite so useful) that contains, among other things, a graph of the "parent satisfaction curve", a U-shaped curve that bottoms out sometime around six weeks. (Still not picturing it? Ok, try this technical explanation: time is on the x-axis and satisfaction is on the y-axis and there's a parabola with it's nadir sometime around the six week mark on the x-axis.). Sometime during the two hour crying fit that interupted our dinner last night, I hoped we'd hit the bottom. All that gloomy stuff said, the good news about hitting the bottom is from there on it, we're on the upslope!

More Pictures

2007-01-13T23:04:00.000-08:00

Here are a few more pictures from the first month of Jonah's life.

Month One

8 Pounds, 8 Ounces, and Thriving

2007-01-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

Well, we weighed Jonah a few days ago and he was 7 lbs., 14 oz. We weighted him again today, figuring maybe we'd be at that magic number of 8 lbs. (magic to us anyway, 'cause it's a nice round number and seems like a healthy weight); and lo and behold he's zipped right past that marker and is already up to 8 lbs., 8 oz.!

And yes, as you've observed, we're a little obsessed with Jonah's weight. We had good reason at the start: Jonah's relatively low birth weight (5 lbs., 9 oz.) seemed to cause a modest amount of anxiety among our various medical care-givers, and so like any good new parents we picked up on that anxiety and started worrying ourselves. Hence the scale at our house and the regular weigh-ins that Jonah has to suffer through. At this point, however, we have to admit that there's no longer much cause for anxiety. New babies are "supposed to" gain 1/2 lb. a week, so Jonah is well ahead of schedule and at 8.5 lbs. is up to what seems like a comfortable, healthy weight. We probably won't be able to resist plunking him on the scale a couple more times (sorry kid), but hopefully those weighings will be less about our anxiety and more about enjoying the fact that our son is thriving.

How to Leave Comments

2007-01-06T12:51:00.000-08:00

We'd love to hear from friends and family who visit our blog, and invite you to join in a public conversation by leaving comments.

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We hope to hear from you soon!

Baby Calming 101

2007-01-05T01:23:00.000-08:00

We're getting good at figuring out how to quiet the kid, although we admit some of our methods look pretty ridiculous.

Jonah's First Bath

2007-01-05T01:22:00.000-08:00

And some video from Jonah's first bath. We've tried to edit the video down to a somewhat tolerable length. There is really cute footage from after the bath that is included in the full (longer) video and also posted as a separate shorter video file.

Jonah's First Bath!

Photos from First Days

2007-01-05T01:20:00.000-08:00

Here are a few photos from the first couple days after we came home from the hospital.

First Days

Baby Jonah Arrives

2007-01-05T01:15:00.000-08:00

Jonah was born at 11:59am on December 14, 2006. Here are a few photos from the birth and right after.

Baby Jonah Arrives!